Tales of Home Ownership (HO) and Taking It Like a HO
Dear Community Leadership and Organizers,
Thank you for reassuring me that the concussive blast I heard the other night was a bomb being safely detonated in the woods a mile from my home. I feel so much better. Of course, you notified the community in the best way possible—by copying a message from the Sheriff’s office on Facebook.
I do not know the ratio of wow, thumbs, and sad face.
While I’m handing out kudos, I’d like to give another shout out to my Homeowners Association (HOA). I’ll be honest, at first I was upset when I received your letter in the mail that notified me of my egregious violation of trash receptacle visibility, but now I understand the error in my ways. Who in there right mind would want to see a forest green trash receptacle, which you gave me, that’s mostly blocked by a house and trees? Not me, that’s for sure.
That trash receptacle is hideous! It burns my eyes!
Furthermore, my HOA letter reminded me that I had the option of building an aesthetically pleasing barrier around the trash receptacle so the unit wasn’t as noticeable. And you were so kind as to inform me that if I did place a barrier there, I need permission from the HOA because it would be considered an additional structure outside of my home. It’s a good thing you said this, because I have a tendency to go off the rails with my whimsical ideas of trashcan hidery. That’s why I’m now placing the trash and recycling bins (which you also so kindly gave me) in my one-car garage. All this time I was using the garage for bikes, tools, and the occasional car.
Finally, thank you for helping my wife with the front yard landscaping. Because of your new housing and road design, water gushes down the hills towards our home, carrying all the gravel and debris with it. Instead of greenery, we have gravel in the middle of our yard, which means…no mowing!
Look at that moss grow!
I wish I could give you even more money.
Regards,
Serena J. Bishop, HO